Thank you Vivian regarding your article on fidelity you may want to read the book "Fidelity" by the french philosopher Maurice Nedoncelle. A little heavy but deeply insightful. Congratulations on your brave article, though it is not just men that cheat nor do I think this is really an issue of patriarchy. Whatever the case, men and women in our time and age can be a lot happier and healthier if we rethink and reengineer our attitudes and behaviours around sexuality.

Fidelity, like all virtues, is intimate with spirituality. Spirituality is not about the body down here doing its thing and some abstract soul doing its own thing elsewhere. Spirituality is about mind, body, and spirit, about integration and unity, integrity and harmony. The easy way becomes hard, the hard ways becomes easy. Sex is easy. Love is hard but sweet. The human body is powerful and amazing and deserves respect. Where have modesty, trust, compassion, understanding, patience, and true love gone? Why are we not growing up with, living within, and educating our children within the framework of these values?
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost
So many people today seem to be completely out of touch -- there is a reason major religions have been around for a long time and why they all outline norms for healthy sexual conduct and happy, healthy relationships. Draw a little mental map of the world in your mind: Relationships are a key node in the living web of society, Without them there is no community, no family, no friendship, no trust, no love, no healthy, happy real live people like you and I (not abstract avatars or weemees or all these other strange things popping up in the US and Asia)... It is our choice to screw around and screw up, or to get back in touch with the real reality and start healing.

The pain you describe so well in this article --and that so many women and men feel when betrayed or when they betray-- is not some fantasy, it has everything to do with the deeper architecture of who we really are and how this all gets knocked out of whack if we don´t figure out the basic and timeless laws: just as gravity, friction, and related physical forces regulate reality in the physical world, love, compassion, and trust regulate that deeper world we all yearn for.

Sex is so sweet it is easy to forget that everyone pays a price --children, babies, families, friends, and yes, the betrayer who is at the center of it all. Sooner or later infidelity catches up and the offender eventually realizes just what he or she has done, how much pain they have caused, and how embedded that pain is in their own being. But its really not just about cheating. Its also about irresponsible sex, about sex without any consideration for children and families, for physical and moral health, for basic goodness and decency. Sex is great, but aren´t there so many other things that are as great or even greater? Like family, trust, respect, joy, and true love...? Like wholesome, integral wellbeing over narrow, pornographic, planet-destroying, hollywood-flaunting materialism?


It´s time for all of us adults around the world, perhaps especially so in the US, to start thinking more seriously about the consequences of our actions and realizing it is not all about oneself. Hyper-individualism, sex with no rules, hyperporn, the death of modesty... isn´t it all going too far?